My Voice: Timing

The other day, I got this great advice from a priest. It was after surgery on Tuesday, I was on the couch and this priest said to me, "We pray in our time, but God answers in His time." Now, I was a little drugged, and it took me a day or two to realize that the priest was not at my house, but actually the "priest" in the movie "Rudy". But still, the guy is right. And I am finding my biggest struggle with my lack of voice and the uncertainty of things is frustration over what God's timing will be. I am not afraid of the outcome of things nearly as much as I get frustrated about now the "when".

God's timing rarely seems to be on my planned schedule. God's timing requires patience to wait for His best and to learn in the middle of the wait. And mostly, God's timing means I trust God and don't run ahead when things aren't moving fast enough. Trust is a recurring theme in my life. I often buy into the American ideal of "make it happen", "have it your way" and "your best life now". I often trust in myself. But God calls me to trust Him, to wait upon the Lord, to have faith in what I cannot see. So, today, as I wake up, praying for the future, I choose to listen to the "priest" and trust that God is working in His time.

Trust is a big issue for me, and if I am completely honest a tough issue as well. But the more often I am honest and deal with this struggle between the desire to trust God and to get things my way, the better. I do not want to live in cliches about "it's all gonna be all right". I want to live in the truth that says, "God is worth trusting, even when things don't seem all right." The past two months have been frustrating for me (quiet time is not a strength...especially when I want to engage our church on so many levels), but I trust that God cares more about me, our church, my family than I ever could. So today, I will trust God to work in His timing...and try not to wish that He would make His timing speed up to match mine. Just being honest.